Variety is what we live for and there’s no place where you find it more than in a school or a college. Life would be so normal if you met every one of the same kind. And, to be very frank, normal is boring.
Variety adds that little extra to your life. It doesn’t just end with the students or your classmates as there are a number of different faculty members and non-teaching staff you see there.
You come up against people of all shapes and sizes in such a place. You remember the most of them and the rest are forgotten in laughter.
1. The Prim and Proper
The ”no nonsense” teacher. Sit upright, look uptight- That’s the motto of such a teacher. A teacher like this won’t indulge in the usual college gossip or the school chatter. That’s beneath them. They’ll enter the class, expecting the students to because of their existence, perform a salutation in their honor and just be overall privileged to be in their presence. Except, it doesn’t really work out like that.
Such teachers follow the fundamentals and do everything by the book, assuming their word to be followed to the letter, making the students pinch themselves to check whether they really are in the class and not in the court of law.
They feel mortally wounded if a student asks for their permission to be excused, shaking their head grievously at a world that has failed them.
2. The Iceman
Everyone’s friend, the ”cool” one. The teacher who has a good word for every student and likes to play everything nice and easy. They more often than not tend to be overly friendly with the opposite sex, offering a helping hand whenever they can.
They try to mix in with the young generation in every way possible and show they are street enough to be one of them, pleading for the age gap to be ignored. Always happy to have the students over at the house for a friendly chat as well.
As always, students take advantage of this and the only thing happening in such classes is joking and bouts of laughter as this teacher tries to show the fun side of studies, or the bright side of life in case of a particularly grim subject.
3. “Did You Hear that About Him from Her?”
The Gossip monger. Who cares about studies if there’s hot, juicy gossip to be had? Topics like regular studies and course completion are below such teachers.
They wake up everyday, so they can hear something interesting about someone from someone else. Their lunch is incomplete without a proper dose of succulent gossip.
They chatter away about one class in the other, forgetting that students talk and word gets around. Whatever honey this bee gathers, like an obedient bee, it goes back with it to the bee hive, the staff room.
4. Why are you asking me?
The one teacher who makes every student question how they ever got the job. Such teachers hide their degree and keep it locked up in a safe lest someone ask them for it. Such teachers are the reason students question the meaning of life and wonder whether Santa’s real or not.
The teacher in question always has absolutely no idea what they are supposed to teach and for them the course is like switching on the Discovery channel, learning something new about their own course every day. But don’t kid yourself if you think they’ll ever accept their shortcomings!
They conveniently hide behind remarks such as, ” Ask your classmate” , ” I’m not going to tell you. Find out yourself.” They calmly go about their jobs in their usual haphazard manner, ignoring the hair-tearing students and their needs
5. Why are You not Running?
The same question should be asked of this teacher. Why aren’t you? People will discover The Victoria’s secret, how Ted met his kids’ mother, what The Rock is cooking, who killed Kennedy but will never be able to get their head around a fat P.ed teacher.
Hell will freeze over before someone explains correctly why a teacher who can’t run to save his/ her life is the P.ed teacher. They expect students to run around in rings without stopping when they themselves only run when the bell rings for lunch and they have to be the first one to the cafeteria.
They order students to do this many or that many push ups and sit ups when, frankly, if they ever go down for a push up, they only get back up with the help of a crane.
6. Because I said so.
The Partial one. The one who gets on the nerves of every student in the class, bar one. The one who’s the teacher’s pet or the favorite one. This student, on the outside, will try to show it doesn’t make a difference or the favoritism doesn’t get to the head, while on the inside, this person is absolutely glowing.
The teacher forgets 2+2 = 4 if her favorite gets 5 somehow. They’ll spend all their life, fighting every losing battle trying to explain how it actually is true and the others don’t really have the basic idea how Mathematics works.
This gives the teacher’s favorite the license to do whatever they want in the class and be the King for just one period. Reasoning and logic go out of the window when you try to explain to this teacher why their favorite is in the wrong. Absolutely nothing doing there. Any word against their favorite is a strict no no!
7. Rip Van Winkle
The Sleeping Beauty. Their first and foremost job is to have a good nap in the class. Nothing should come in the way of that, not even something as trivial as an examination. They go about everything at their own slow pace, be it teaching or walking, making students wonder if this teacher brings a sleeping bag as well.
They tend to hold Rip Van Winkle conventions in the class, either making everybody fall asleep with their lifeless classes and dull manner of teaching or snoozing themselves. Even something as petty as a subject course can’t lessen the importance of a good nap during the class.
8. Sorry. Who are you again?
The confused teacher, who has truly no idea what is going on in the class and has no control whatsoever over it. Their course is a mystery to them as much as the next student and they tend to barge in the class thinking it’s their period when it’s not.
Such wanderings often lead to them coming late to a class and leaving early, making them everyone’s favorite and students’ choice for the teacher of the year. They get puzzled even by the most insignificant of things and ponder over them for hours.
They start a topic with such earnest and care that in the middle of a very vigorous speech they forget how they started with Atom and ended up talking about the fight of independence of their country. ” Is it Monday today? ” ” No teacher, it was Monday seven days ago.” And they walk thinking what went wrong there.
9. When are you Signing Your Next Movie?
The one every student has a crush on and the opposite sex is full of admiration for. This teacher can do no wrong. Doesn’t matter if they stabbed a puppy. If they look so good, they must have had a good reason for it.
Violins and guitars are a recurring theme whenever such a teacher passes, making the student wonder what wrong did they do in their previous life to be younger than this person.
It doesn’t matter if this person can’t teach as long as they are present in the class for the students to ogle at. Students are willing to sacrifice their hard earned or well, requested, pocket money to get private tuition from this being.
Whistling or humming romantic songs while looking at this teacher or passing them by is a persistent thing which a student does without missing a beat.
The one class where every student’s attendance is always up to the mark, the one teacher no one can hear wrong about, the one teacher who students point out as the shining example of how a faculty should be, not for their teaching prowess of course.